c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!l1Tell us, how does it feel?
c2c1l1You know, no two ways about it.  All those hours of pumpingl1iron really paid off.
c2c1l1I mean, seriously, look at me, my arms are so thick, Il1can't even scratch my own back!
c2c1l1But, I mean, that's what tree bark's for, right?
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Errr...sure, why not.l1So, what does the future hold for you now that you'vel1conquered the boxing world?
c2c1l1Well, to be honest, the belt's nice, but the cash isl1what really interests me.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Of course!  Cars, mansions, jets, it's a great lifestyle.
c2c1l1Sure, that stuff's nice.  But what I'm really interestedl1in is a really big backscratcher!
c2c1l1I can't describe in words how bad my back itches...
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!
c2c1l1Well, it's no real surprise to me.  You know what I'ml1saying?
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Honestly, no, I can't say I do.
c2c1l1I look out at the boxing world right now, and seel1nothing but B-class fighters.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Really?  I watched some tapes of your previous fights,l1and it looked like you took some hard punches.
c2c1l1Hard punches?  Maybe for a normal man, but for al1champ like me, they were little more thanl1mosquito stings.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Sounds like you have a chin of iron!
c2c1l1That goes a long way.  But it also has a lot tol1do with my training regimen.
c2c1l1I spend two hours every day punching my own face.l1I've gotten to the point where my face's painl1sensors barely register a truck collision.
c2c1l1Trust me, I know.  I've tried it.
c2c1l1On top of that, I psycho train consantly, eat right,l1...oh, and pain killers.  I take a lot of pain killers.
c2c1l1Numer one, baby!  Number one!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!l1Tell us, how does it feel?
c2c1l1It feels like I finally got what I had coming tol1me.  My ship has arrived!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Yes, I heard the prize money was high forl1this fight.
c2c1l1Prize money?  That was a handout.  I'm thinkingl1of going global with this thing!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Eh...I'm not sure I follow.
c2c1l1My name's a brand now.  Why should I limit myselfl1to boxing?  I'm thinking toasters, grills, washingl1machines, the works!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1I suppose it could work.  But, it soundsl1like a big undertaking.
c2c1l1Oh, it is.  That's why my team's already beenl1working on some of the basic concepts.
c2c1l1And for my part, I've been studying mandarin.l1Did you know mandarin is going to become the secondl1biggest language in the world?
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Yes, I heard something about that.
c2c1l1Koh-ni-chi-wah sucka.l1And Ah-re-gate-o to all my homies!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!
c2c1l1I wanna take this opportunity to give my side ofl1the story on all the allegations that have beenl1flying around about me.
c2c1l1First and foremost, that wasn't my truck theyl1found.  It looks kinda like mine, but it ain't.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Well, I'm sure the truth will come out andl1your name will be cleared of all charges.
c2c1l1They'd better.  I'm paying the judge good money,l1he'd better pull through.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Well, any plans for the immediate future, nowl1that you're the World Champ?
c2c1l1Absolutely.  I'm going to use my new massivel1popularity and sway over the common man to makel1a move into the political ring.
c2c1l1You're thinking of making a move to politics?
c2c1l1I've got it all figured out.  The problem withl1the government is that stuff keeps getting stuckl1in deadlocks.
c2c1l1Under my administration, that would be a thing ofl1the past.  See, whenever there's a disagreement,l1we get the two opposing sides to fight.
c2c1l1The last man standing gets to have his way on thel1issue.  It makes sense, and, hey, it works forl1orangutans.
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!l1Tell us, how does it feel?
c2c1l1It feels groovy, man!  Real groovy!  I canl1dig it, my man!  Waaooh!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1So, any plans for the immediate future?
c2c1l1Definitely.  I'm thinking of starting myl1own band.  Yeeeeaowh!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Wow!  That sounds impressive.  So, are you going to be the lead singer?
c2c1l1Well, I won't deny it, that was my originall1plan.  Wooop!  Unfortunately, my singing sounds notl1unlike a dying alley cat.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Ouch!  I can see how that would bel1a problem.
c2c1l1So, right now, we're thinking I'm going tol1be the lead drummer.
c2c1l1And I'm okay with that, you know.  I mean,l1I've spent most of my life beating the crap out ofl1stuff, why not a drum?
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Well, it certainly sounds like we'll bel1seing a lot more of you in the future.
c2c1l1Absolutely.  And finally, let me take thisl1opportunity to be serious for a moment and say...
c2c1l1Yeeeep!  Yeeeep!  Yeeeaowh!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!l1Tell us, how does it feel?
c2c1l1I feel neither pride nor joy.  It is as itl1was meant to be.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1You certainly sound very calm, consideringl1the amazing feat you've achieved.
c2c1l1Amazing?  Well, perhaps it appears that way.l1But the result was quite obvious to anyl1student of box-jitsu.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Box-jitsu?  I have to admit, I'm notl1entirely sure what that is.
c2c1l1Then I will explain.  Box-jitsu is thel1ultimate merging of boxing and the ancientl1asian martial arts.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1It certainly sounds powerful.
c2c1l1It is the ultimate martial art.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Yes, I think I heard you were openingl1a gym somewhere in the city?
c2c1l1That's right.  I'll be opening a box-jitsul1exclusive dojo right here.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1I'm not sure I have the directions.
c2c1l1It's on the corner of Fifth and Central, rightl1next to the pizza joint.
c2c1l1Only those whose wills are strong enough tol1resist the temptating smell of oven freshl1pizza are worthy of box-jitsu.  Wadooo!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!l1Tell us, how does it feel?
c2c1l1To be honest, it feels like a huge weight hasl1been lifted off my shoulders.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Really?  It doesn't sound like you enjoyl1being the ultimate champ?
c2c1l1Oh no, don't get me wrong.  Being the champl1is great.  I'm just relieved I don't have tol1do it over again.
c2c1l1I don't know what it is with this current cropl1of boxers, but I got hit below the belt sol1many times, I can't even count them.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Yes, I heard something about you filing anl1official complaint.
c2c1l1That's right, I did.  I'm still waiting forl1the results on that.  Let's see if they don'tl1go for a legal low-blow as well!
c2c1l1A few months ago, I had this big scare, wherel1my doctor was telling me I couldn't have kidsl1any more.
c2c1l1Luckily, it turned out to be a false alarm.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1So, I assume you'll use your new leverage tol1change the regulations on low blows?
c2c1l1Absoultely.  From now on, anyone who goes forl1a lowblow, has to take three in return!
c2c1l1That'll remedy the situation real quick!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!l1Tell us, how does it feel?
c2c1l1It feels like I'm on top of the world!  But,l1at the same time, it's a hollow victory.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1What makes you say that?
c2c1l1Well, I mean, let's face it.  The currentl1boxers out there, they're all geezers.l1Yesterday's champions.
c2c1l1Me, I'm the future of boxing.  Fast, agile,l1and I hit like a brick wall.  I'm the completel1package.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1So you never felt like you were challenged?
c2c1l1Are you kidding?  Half the time, I felt I wasl1hitting my grandfather!
c2c1l1The only reason some of those fights didn'tl1go so well was because I was really holdingl1back.
c2c1l1I was sure if I went all out, I'd getl1arrested for physical abuse of an elderly person!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1So what changes would you like to see inl1the boxing scene?
c2c1l1I say we get the old timers out of thel1ring.  The closest they'll ever get to a beltl1is carrying mine for me!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion!
c2c1l1This victory goes way back to when I firstl1went into boxing to prove the validity of myl1fight equation.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Your fight equation?
c2c1l1That's right.  You see, all problems can bel1broken down to basic mathematical problems.
c2c1l1So, I figured if I could solve the equationl1for being a great fighter, I could become al1world champion!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1I assume you figured the equation out, andl1that's led you to where you are now.
c2c1l1That's exactly what happened.  It wasl1mathematically impossible for me to lose!
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1That equation sound amazing?  Any chancel1we'll ever get to see it?
c2c1l1I'm publishing a book next month that'lll1go into detail about the equation.
c2c1l1It's quite simply, really.  A few crossl1products, take the outcome through Carmack'sl1Reverse.  That kind of thing.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Sounds snazzy.  And what about you?l1Any immediate plans?
c2c1l1I'm going to take my winnings and fund myl1research on creating the perfect eggroll!
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c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Congratulations ,l1You've finally become the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World!
c2c1l1I always knew I had it in me!
c2c1l1My life's been like a big easter egg hunt,l1but with belts instead of eggs, and facesl1instead of grass.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1How'd you do it?
c2c1l1Well, I can't really attribute it to any onel1thing.  I've got an excellent staff behind me.
c2c1l1My life motto was also a big help.l1Steady and even always wins in the end.l1Minty fresh breath certainly helped.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1If you had to pick one defining aspect thatl1helped you become the champ, what would it be?
c2c1l1Hmmm, I'd have to say my previous job as al1secret service agent.
c2c1l1I beat a lot of people's faces in back then.l1It proved to be invaluable experience forl1the ring.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Any immediate plans for the future?
c2c1l1Well, the feeling of peoples's skulls crushingl1under your fists gets pretty old after a while.
c2c1l1I'm thinking of going into racing.
c2ANNOUNCERc1l1Wow!  Stock cars or F-1?
c2c1l1Neither.  I'm thinking Golf Cart.
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