Oh great, I haven't had a fight in months.  It's badl1enough I'm a tomato can, but I'm a generic brand!
Straight up, if I beat you, you've got a heck of a lotl1of work to do.  Or maybe I finally found my stride!
Ouch!  Everything hurts!  You got me fair and square. l1Admittedly, that's not a big surprise.

You wanna fight me?  Let's do it.  But careful, I don'tl1got much experience, but I got plenty of punch!
Tough loss bud, but that's the name of the game.  Me,l1I've got a date with the gold belt.
That speed, that strength, that power!  You're tool1much for me.  I need a vacation!

I agree to your duel.  Like the newborn dragon, Il1will...shoot, I forgot my old japanese quotes bookl1in the car, but you get the idea.
Haha!  My fists of fury have struck you down!  So whatl1if I'm from upstate New York?  The fire of myl1elders burns within me!
I bow before you.  Without a doubt, I have beenl1defeated.  Maybe I should become a realtor...

Let's get this rumble on!  I've been itching to getl1something alive to start pounding on!
My name's Tate, and I just ate, the last ingrate, thatl1stepped up to the plate!  Hey, that ryhmes!
Oh, man.  No fair!  The ropes were loose last night!l1Someone put something in my food!

I accept your challenge.  But don't be fooled by myl1physique.  I've honed myself to be the perfectl1fighter.  Well, that's what my mom always says.
I told you before the fight.  Muscles and guts onlyl1get you so far.  Brains are the real champions.
You got me fair and square.  I haven't had a loss thatl1bad since, well, my last fight.

I may be new to the boxing scene, but I've got bill payingl1skillz inside these gloves. I'll prove it to the worldl1when I take you down in one round!
Looks like my skillz were just too much for you.  Putl1a few more hours in the gym, and maybe next time.
Wow, you've got some serious ring skills!  That was al1well deserved victory.  Anyone seen my jaw?

Yeah, I been hearing noise about you. Heard you werel1going full throttle on the freeway to the top. In thatl1case, think of me as a road block.
You had a good ride, but I guess you have to go homel1early. MWAHAHAHA!
I was completely outclassed out there. You got legendl1written all over you, kid.

This is the end of the road, boy. I'm going to pop youl1like a zit on a Computer Science major.
Let's own up to it. You didn't know what you were doingl1out there. Go back to school..
Great, like my career needed another eye sore.l1Like I needed another eye sore.l1Man, I was eating the jab all night.l1Good thing my dental plan has me covered,l1cuz I need it.

I'm going to take you out to the woodshed and beat youl1like a drum.
You wouldn't understand with words that I was beyondl1your league, so I had to give you an example. Try mel1again if you still don't get it.
You may have beaten me, but that means nothing. Therel1are fighters who outclass you all over the world. LOL!!

I accept your challenge, Dude. Let's do this thing.l1Pick a fight day and let's get this thing rolling.
Just as I imagined it. An above average amateur withl1a few unique tricks. You're not quite a tomatoe can,l1but you're getting close.
Hey man, I give credit where credit is due.l1I've been in the business a long time. I know whenl1someone's got what it takes to get to the top,l1and you got it. I heard the rumors going in,l1but when you started throwing those awesomel1mixers...I was blown away.

If we're gonna mix it up, we mix it up my way. Youl1pick the time, I pick the spot.
You'll have to defeat my iron jab before you beat me.l1Try again kiddo. LOL!!
That fight was a fiasco.l1For starters, the ref was my ex-father inl1law. He really had it in for me. And your coach wasl1my ex-coach. He knew all my moves. And my currentl1coach just found out I've been sleeping with hisl1wife, so he bet against me.

I gotta talk with my manager. He's gotta stop givingl1me these showboat fights. Gimme something to hit!
That was a good afternoon workout. You started out l1allright, but it looks like you only had one or twol1good rounds in you.
That had to be my worst fight ever. I started ok, youl1gotta admit, but then you kept nicking away at me,l1and then halfway through I was thinking, man, I can'tl1keep on taking those. But I did, and before Il1knew what happened, I was eatin' canvas.

I'm gonna break you like a twig, punk. A dried up,l1cracked up twig.
It's like I say. My attacks are discombobulatinglyl1powerful. You were totally defribulated out there.
That was hardly a fair fight. I signed up with thel1beginner leagues, but you're obviously at the Prol1level. Man, this is Battle.Org all over again!

Me? Fight with you? How's a big timer like me gonna stoopl1down to your level. It's just not done. Ah,l1what the heck. I could use a laugh.
Hey kid, you're making a fool of yourself out there. Ifl1you want to rumble with the big leagues, you gotta l1take it up to the next level.
Those attacks came out of nowhere. I didn't have anyl1weapons to respond with. It was an embarassment forl1my team, and me, and my family...and my entirel1lineage from now to FOREVER!!

Yo yo yo, wazzup. Heard you wuz looking for trouble.l1You found it, sucker. I'm trouble with a l1capital T. I accept your challenge, just say when.
Hey kid, you got potential, but you gotta work it ifl1you want to rumble with the big leagues, I'ml1talking about taking it to the next level.
Dude, you got lightning bolts for arms or something.l1I just couldn't see 'em coming. High Low, leftl1right, you were all over the freaking place.l1You were so fast, you were invisible.

Only reason I'm accepting your challenge is because Il1need a quick fight to make some cash. Shouldn'tl1of bought that gold laced feathered boa.
I told you this wasn't going to be a duck walk. But atl1least you got beaten by the best. BOSS!!!
The fight last night was a joke.l1My team and I are going to start an investigation on this!l1You put something in my food, I know it. And thel1ropes had been loosened, and I'm gonna makel1sure you NEVER FIGHT LEGALLY AGAIN!

You think you're the big man, huh? You wanna make thel1big bucks, eh? Allright...We're gonna do this, I pickl1the spot, you pick the time, muchacho.
It was a novelty fight out there. A real joke. And youl1were the punchline.
That was the first smear on my otherwise flawlessl1record. And the only reason it happened was beacausel1you caught me on an off day. I just finished comingl1off of an injury. I deserve a rematch.

You made it to the big time, and now you think you'rel1hot stuff, eh? Ok, I'll take your challenge,l1and show you first hand how tough it isl1at the pro level.
Just as I imagined it. An above average amateur with al1few unique tricks. You're not quite a tomatoe can,l1but you're getting close.
What an arm! Been a while since I've been on thel1receiving end of a real haymaker. Forgot just howl1much those bad boys hurt. I'm still seeing stars.l1Looks like I didn't bring my game with me that night.

You're finished. I'm gonna dismantle you like a kid'sl1toy. Piece by piece. I'll start off at the topl1and work my way down.
You wouldn't understand with words that I was beyondl1your league, so I had to give you an example.l1Try me again if you still don't get it.
I have to give you the props, boy. You've got the madl1skills. You're definitely going further than me.l1But then again, I'm a tomatoe can, so whatl1do I know.

Another wannabe, has been, or never was for me to takel1down? Why not. I take one down, another one comesl1up to take his place.
That was a good afternoon workout. Not great, but justl1ok. As a fight, well, I've broken more sweatl1sparring with my coach, and he's 68!
That was a bad fight. A few days ago I came down withl1the flu or something. Couldn't tell up from down.l1Halfway through the bout, I was seeingl1three of you.

I'm gonna tear you open like a fat man on a bag of chips.
It was a novelty fight out there. A real joke. And youl1 were the punchline.
You freaking punk! You bought the ref. You pulled sol1many low blows, I wonder if I'm capable ofl1having children anymore! I heard you were a dirtyl1fighter, but last night was a wrestling match!l1Forget the Boxing Commision, I'm going to suel1you directly for assault!

How will I end your career, let me count the ways...
I told you this wasn't going to be a duck walk. Butl1at least you got beaten by the best.
About a third of the way through the match I beganl1to realize that your powers dwarfed my own.l1How dare I even attempt to reach the heights ofl1your realm.

You fight with me, you get taken to school. Its thatl1simple. Only, mine is the school of hard knocks,l1and lately, there's plenty of new students.
Let's own up to it. You didn't know what you were doingl1out there. Go back to school.
Too good for me. But it was inevitable. I like my stuffl1imported. Car from Japan. Clothes from Italy. Chinl1straight out of China.

For me, winning is an ongoing cycle, a never endingl1victory loop that I am imprisoned in from now tol1oblivion.
You'll have to defeat my iron jab before you beat me.l1Try again kiddo. LOL!!
A couple of lucky shots won it for you. Admit it, thisl1was a shallow victory, devoid of impact. I don't carel1what the score cards say.

I accept your fight. I should warn you, though, Mostl1times I fight, I get arrested on charges of assaultl1and attempted manslaughter.
You'll have to do better than that to hold any kind ofl1contention in the world of boxing. For starters,l1you need to block with your hands, not your face.
It's fights like that that make me seriously thinkl1about changing jobs. Taking beat downs for a living isl1not for me. Maybe I can go back to work at the scuml1sucking plant.

Got brain cells?...get ready to loose 'em. Ready forl1the next level?  Then step up. But dont feel tool1bad when you go down, youll be in goodl1company.
It's like I say. My attacks are discombobulatinglyl1powerful. You were totally defribulated out there.
Your hits were strong last night... too strong. I'ml1thinking you were packing brass in those gloves.l1I smell Foul Play!

All aboard the pain train!!l1First stop, concussion via the Desler Express.
All too easy. The outcome speaks for itself.l1I overwhelmed you with my fighting prowess.
Shooting down tomatoe cans for my last few fightsl1 has taken its toll on my fighting skill.l1I was too rusty, but I'll be back.

Around here they call me the judge, and in my court,l1everyone is guilty. Let the punishment phase begin!!
I deemed you guilty of being a hack boxer.l1As usual, my sentence was swift and efficient.
The power you showed in that fight was inhuman.l1In fact, it was god like. Are you a god?

I'm gonna smash you open like a mad tekkie hopped upl1on java an let loose in the server room.
Good job, chump. Thats the kinds of fights I like.l1Nice and easy. Well, for me anyway.
I told my manager to give me easy fights.l1But last night was the toughest fight I've ever had.l1What's up with that?

Sure I accept your fight. I can free up 5 minutesl1any day of the week. Go ahead, pick one.
Another day, another chump. You could have been al1contender, but now you're just a bum.
I'm not gonna say you cheated, but near the end,l1somebody threw sand in my eyes.l1Maybe it was pepper.

Lets rock and roll, punk. lets rock and roll.
You'll have to do better than that to hold any kindl1of contention in the world of boxing.l1For starters, you need to block with your hands,l1not your face.
That's it, I'm switching back to SouthPaw.l1That, and I'm going to start using steroids again.l1Championships, here I come!!

My brother and I are gonna make sure you don't makel1it past these ranks. Come on, let's see whatl1you got here.
After my decisive victory, people were wondering ifl1I was juiced up on something.l1Im not gonna say I never use the stuff, but lastl1night, the only thing getting juiced was yourl1face.
That's it. I'm gonna sic my brother on you.l1Challenge him next if you have the guts.

Ill tell you straight up, youre gonna look back atl1the fight night as the worst day of yourl1miserable little life. If youre lucky enoughl1to wake up, that is.
This is what it means to play at the pro level.l1You gotta eat the jab I feed you.l1Can you deal with it?
Ok you got me. But it wasn't any where near how thel1judges scored it. They're just trying to make mel1look bad. Especially that one judge in the middle.l1The whole time he was looking at me cock-eyed.l1Messed up my concentration.

It's past time you were really tested, boy-o.l1I'm going to crush you like a fiery bag of ****l1in front of my neighboor's house.
What happened out there. I was waiting for the fightl1to begin, when some hobo stepped up into thel1ring so I laid him out. The challenger neverl1did show up that night.
I gotta admit it, you beat me fair and square.l1You took it to the next level. Watching the tape,l1I looked like a clown in that ring.l1The Circus is in town indeed.

You've made two BIG mistakes in your life.l1Being born, and challenging me.l1Better get some life insurance, comrade.
Good job, chump. Thats the kinds of fights Il1like. Nice and easy. Well, for me anyway. Don'tl1say I didn't warn you.
You completely disrespected me out there.l1Big mistake, bud.l1I got friends in the upper ranks, and they're gonnal1be more than happy to avenge my loss.

Alright, Ill fight you. Just make sure you makel1it at least into the third round.
Another day, another chump. You could have been al1contender, but now you're just a bum.
You're not bad. Not bad at all. But your techniquel1could use a lot of fine tuning before you can takel1on REX BOOMER.

Let us test our abilities. I have tabulated thel1data, and I calculate that you will experiencel1an exponential degree of PAIN!
Science Log 1127, My hypothesis has been provenl1correct. I AM the greatest buttkicker on the Earth.
ERROR! ERROR! Assertion FAILED! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!l1Outcome did not match ego to skill ratio!!

In the words of my great uncle Fred, otherwisel1known as the infamous Park City Canniball1    - Oh boy, fresh meat!
Your problem is, you got no rythm, man. I didn'tl1even break a sweat, and I even sweat when I eat.
I'm going to contest the results. It was clear thatl1the ref should have stopped the fight earlier andl1announced a TKO in my favor. But he kept thel1fight going, knowing I had already shut itl1down for the night.

Youre not so tough. Ive seen the tapes, and thel1only reason youve made it this far is becausel1the Boxing League has been setting you up withl1chumps.
All too easy. The outcome speaks for itself.l1I overwhelmed you with my fighting prowess.
I lost, but that don't make me a chump. I justl1should have trained harder for this one. My idiotl1coach said this was going to be a duck walk,l1and not to sweat it. He is sooo fired.

When I get in the ring, you gotta watch out,l1sucker! Im what they call an extremity consumer.l1Fingers, ears, hair, it makes no difference.l1IM AN ANIMAL!!!
I finished with you early. You got lucky too.l1I was feeling pekish before the fight, butl1someone handed me a chicken finger as Il1entered the ring.
You may have defeated my technique. But it's goingl1to take more than a lucky victory for me to bow to you.l1And even more to take down REX BOOMER...

Waddup!!! W00t!! W00t!! meye L33T skillz willl1PwOwn jOOO !!11. L8rz bro, :P
w00t!! W00t!! U been Pwned!!111 +  ur skillzl1suXor. MeyeNz roXor jOOr SoXorS! L8rz foo.:P
w00t!! W00t!! I been Pwned!!111 +  Ur skillzl1roXor. MeyeNz SuXor. L8rz foo.:P

Sure Ill fight you. I eat nukes for breakfast,l1so your punches are going to rank somewherel1between mosquito bites and raindrops.
What happened out there. I was waiting for the fightl1to begin, when some hobo stepped up into the ring.l1I laid him out. The challenger never didl1show up that night.
Listen up. You may have re-arranged my face, but I'ml1going to make sure REX BOOMER gets ready for yourl1techniques. Your career is as good as over. LOL!!

I'm a thinker. For example, I always wondered howl1many licks it took to get to the center of al1twirly pop. But I could never stop biting.l1Lucky for you, I wear a mouth piece.
After my decisive victory, people were wonderingl1if I was juiced up on something. Im not gonnal1say I never use the stuff, but last night,l1the only thing getting juiced was your face.
I have seen the future of boxing. You have what itl1 takes to bring down the BOOMER.

It's come down to this. The only thing standingl1between you and "The Glory" is ME,l1THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!l1Get smart and pull out while you can,l1or face the consequences.
You don't have what it takes to own the gold belt,l1and you never will. Hahaha!!
I bow my head to the champion...I have beenl1defeated, and my name has been dragged throughl1the mud. I will never fight again...

EndFile
